And to think MADD...Mothers Against Drunk Drivers.... sat in front of the tv in the 50's and 60's thinking how funny those Hamms commercials were! I know I use to laugh at them. What do you think they'd say today if they brought these back. The bear was born in 1953. Two years before I was.
I almost spit my donut out reading that ad. No wonder all of our dads and grandpas walk around with a shit eatin' grin on their face most of the time. They must really feel sorry for us younger guys. A modern version of the rules would probalby read more like.....
-Always leave the bills in plain view where he can see them. Ideally he will have to handle them to get to something he enjoys immensely-perhaps a magazine that came in the mail that he reads avidly.
-Always have the kids messy and unkempt. Have them wear the same clothes day after day so they smell.
-If possible, never fuel the vehicles or have the oil changed. It is his job to maintain the motorpool and pay to do so.
-If possible, water the grass near the driveway and sidewalk so it grows faster than the rest of the yard, this will remind him that he needs to mow the lawn regularly.
-Eventhough you can probably cook a decent meal, be sure to regularly serve him a tepid and mundane menu. Tuna caserole is a good choice as it is cheap and easy to make. And, if he likes to drink alcohol he will probably heat it up and enjoy it when he's buzzed and hungry just before bed-causing him to wonder all night why he can be such ass about dinner when it's so darn good.
-Leaving seductive undergarments and outfits out on the bed or on the dresser is a good way to play games with him. If he asks,"Hey baby, you gonna wear that dominatrix outfit tonight for me?"...do not answer and stare at him blankly.