Extreme winter weather...

T

travis bruce

Active member
lately we've been getting ice & snow... a lot more than usual for memphis. Long ago I decided a winter storm that doesnt have a catchy name sucked, so I have been naming every winter storm like the tv weathermen do. I caught some flack from White Death 06, apprently it has racial contetations. Recently, during our self proclaimed Winter Apocolysp 07 (pronounced ought seven), we decided just naming storms wasnt enough. We've all seen the movies, where people are snowed or iced in, be it thru another disaster (plane crash) or poor planing, and they eat all the food and are soon starving. next thing they do is resort to cannablism. Hey, its an ugly fact people will eat people to survive. I decided our workplace needed an extreme winter weather plan... the ideal to eat someone (ergo, a certain coworker) to survive needs to be made logically, without emotion. Obviously, if your starving, emotion is gonna cloud your judgement. In just a few minutes discussion with one of my buds, we came up with a plan who we'd eat. The guy is young (Im thinking old people would be tough), slow (easy to catch), and could be distracted with a cell phone to knock him in the head. hes hetrosexual (not that there is anything wrong with gays, but who wants to add risk factors to their canabilism that arent nessessary?), and we really think not to many people would blame us when it comes down to us or him.
When you go back to work monday, look around. Theres a coworker, you know you could eat to survive. Maybe, he or she even NEEDS killin, so your actually coming out ahead on the deal. Its my own personal goal, that every workplace has a cannablism action plan in place, so the right desescions can be made, for the worst possible situations. travis
 
I work alone, from home alot, and certainly would be home if there was a storm. It's just me and the dog and guess what..........he don't know how to start the grill. I told him about your post and now he's look'in at me funny.
 
Thank God Im' old and retired. I hate to go in the work place and have people look at me and say Hmmm Yummy. Here comes a big storm.
 
DAY-UM! You suthuners get a few days below freezing and you start thinking about eating each other??? Just don't eat the banjo player cause it would get pretty boring real quick. If things got that bad around here, I'd just drive to Memphis and sniff for the BBQ...
 
Something in my background must be lacking.........I thought that , when winter storms were predicted, you just went out and bought bread, milk, and toilet paper.......
 
This could be adapted to any environ...school, neighborhoods, church, sporting events.

You know, if this catches on you could even sell your meat or sell your rights to certain individuals...like a prime "tender person" may be worth more than say a sinewey jogger type.

Good plan...I like it.
 
that way up here in the NORTH it happens here as well
ever wonder why there isnt as many homeless people or streetwalkers etc>ummmmm,
ifin your hungry move north way up north ......
we just drool when the weather man says big storm is comin on a friday saturday nite,,,,,
we flash up the barbie about 2 am and get the trucks warmed up then we go cruzing for popcicles..

popcicles meaning: drunks to drunk to get home and are frozen in a snow bank..

sometimes we get lucky and get a whole mess of them and we have to put them in the walk in for our next party,some folks dont know what were cooking on the spit in the summer time lolJ/K

snowed in + an imagination + beer+snacks= best seller lmao
 
You know, if this catches on you could even sell your meat ...
Click to expand...
I believe that this is illegal -- except in Las Vegas. // sorry - I know, it was a cheap shot, but it was there and I took it...
 
I copied this and passed it around the offices today, most folks found it funny, but anyone that was a few pounds over weight had this strange look on their face. Couldn't tell if they were trying to figure out who to pick or worried that they were a prime cut of meat.

Andrew Holley
 
Being part of our safety team here at work I found this post very useful. As part of our disaster plans we have also implimented a course of action for food supplies. the vegetarians are the first to go.
 
If your coworkers are the least bit freaked by this... then walk up in the morning to them first thing, with a glazed look on your face, and say, 'have you seen the weather?'. bwhahahahahaha, gets em all freaky.

never thought eating the homeless. Lots of bums in this area, wouldnt be hard to catch one at all. Not sure I want to eat a homeless person, kinda the way we wont eat the guy we kid with about being queer. Apprently, he really isn't queer. His boyfriend is, but he's not. Either way, not a first choice to eat.

Normally when i get ready to abuse the homeless, I like to do where they get some exercise. next time a pair of bums come up panhandling for money, pick a spot say 100 yards or so away, and tell them you got 10 bucks for the one that makes it there and back first. Bum windsprints are a blast. You think walking around talking to themselves would be enough excerise, but apprently its not.

Theres an 'address challenged' (gotta be pc ya know) guy that lives in the woods over behind sams club i can see out my window. Apprently he has recently gotten a dog, big brown and white jobber. It probably sucks being a bum, but being a bums dog doesnt look like too bad a gig.. this is one happy sucker, they play every afternoon.

You know the best part of dating homeless chicks. When ya get done with them, you can just drop em off anywhere! bwhahahahaha. travis
 
I'm glad I don't work with Travis!!!

Hey Travis, if you had to select from the forum members...... Jay might be a little "fishy", Sutton is old and probably a bit tough, Harker's probably a little "cheeto-ey"... I'd probably starve....
 
With that grouping..you'd be lucky to "jackal" a morsel .And don't think that you could run away from us..a strategically placed poster of Shania would have you boiling in the carrots and onions.
 
I'll either lose a ton of weight or cover myself in scar tissue( we all know which is easier). Trapping would work, picture a crispy creme donut in the bottom of a bucket set with a conibear at your favorite boat ramp........ and think they're already sealed in neoprene.

Kyle
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top