Having to put the dog down with kids in the family

A

Andrew Holley

Well-known member
Our dog, Brooks is 13 now and having a ton of health problems. And has finally reached the point of having to put him down. I just made the appointment with the vet and had to tell my 11 year old son. Whole lot of tears were shed, Brooks has slept with Michael his whole life.

The thing that caught me off guard was Michael asked if he could come along for the appointment to "be there at the end for Brooks". Said I would think about it.

For the other dad's out there, what are your thoughts? Michael is pretty sensitive and this will be the first time anything/anybody has died.
 
Andrew, first and foremost I am truly sorry for what lies ahead. I think as a dog owner this task is the hardest thing to do. Our dogs become part of the family. When I was young and had to put my first lab down I was not in the room with her. This has bothered me since,I had to do it later on in life with my second lab, I made sure I was with him in the end talking to him till the end. It is quick and painless. If you think your son can handle and understand what is going on, I think he should be there. Being a good dog owner this is the sad part of the process. My opinion , others may not agree.
 
Andrew,
MY thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. I don't know what to tell you about your son. Just put one down in Nov., I know how hard it was on me.
Sonny
 
Our heart goes out to you and your family Andrew. I think if the young man wants to be there for a pet that has been there for him since he was crawling so be it. He may only be 11 but it sounds like he's well on his way if he is making the hard choices on his own.
 
Puting a family dog down is sad for the entire family.I recently had to put a 14 year old Briit down because she went paralyzed in the rear end.I chose not to be there this time,as it never gets easier.Our eyes met before the door closed between us,and I'll never forget the love that passes between us.You can be proud of your son for making a dificult decision.Everyone will be grateful.
 
Sorry for your situation. I know exactly how you feel. We have a 13 1/2 yr old Chocolate lab that is now day-by-day.

I was there for the first dog we had to put down about twelve years ago. Again, a 13 1/2 yr old. That time she was a Golden. I patted her until she was gone. Tough to do for sure, but I wanted to be there with her in the end. There is no doubt in my mind, she would have done the same for me.

While I may be taking the risk of sounding disrespectful, and I don't mean it that way, I am going to take a slightly different angle on this. We have always felt "realistic" about life, living and death. Cannot hide it. If you are alive, you are eventually going to die. With your son's desire to be there, perhaps being witness to this part of this process will help prepare him for the loss of something else, or someone for that matter, in the future. An important "life lesson", if you will.

Whatever your decision, good luck with it all. We will all be thinking of you and your family.

Jon
 
Your son is showing great maturity in his wanting to be there when you dog is put down. Most definately let him be there. It will be tough at the time, and a few days afterwards but in the end it is something he will remember fondly and something you can discuss in the days to come. Much better than him asking questions and always wondering what really happened.

Mark W
 
When I was 10 my dad put out lab down while I was asleep on a Friday night that had been there since I was born, in fact we had the same birthday. I was so used to her being around I didnt notice she was gone as I went about my Saturday. When I finally did notice and was told I wished I was there, especially since I never got that "goodbye" moment. I think it is great your son realizes the value of your dog in wanting to be there. I would say let him show his thanks by being there.

Wish you the best in a troubling time.
 
As others have mentioned. My deepest sympathies. The closure is as much for your son as for you. Like you said, they slept together every night. They are probably closer than you realize. Let him help her across the Rainbow Bridge.
 
Andrew,
I am truly sorry for the time that is upon you. Putting down a family pet is very hard, with children even harder. I grew up on a very large hog farm and life and death was seen all the time. I was probably the most sensitive of the three boys and sometimes I would get attached to some of the young pigs. Things happen and some of them either die or have to be put down. I thought it was cruel when I was very young, but as I grew older I believe it helped me understand things alot better and also helped to "toughen my hide." I'm not saying that your son will become callous by seeing his friend put down, but it's definitive, it's real, and although heartbreaking, it's sometimes necessary to have the closure. I hold your family in my prayers as you go thru this tough time.

dc
 
Andrew,
Repeating what others have said, Very sorry to hear of your tough choice and the hard part of having a dog as a family member.
I faced the same situation and was not able to have the chance to say one way or the other. We knew it was coming and were preparing for the time. I came home from work and found Haley in the middle of one bad stroke. I carried her to the truck and headed out to the vet. No time to pick up John from school.
He was 10. He wanted to be there in the worst way. Sometimes it doesn't go that way. That dog was his first and best pal.
I know that he would have had a hard time with it, but he would have also had the chance he wanted to make his peace.
No easy task and no fun for sure. But a part of the ride and a darn good chance for the two of you to cement your relationship even further.
Bob
 
Andrew - Sorry to hear that brother. Been there, done that... Holding it from your kids creates questions and doubts. They need to process it but, maybe not all of it. Working through a death with the guidance and explanations of mom and dad are important for kids. I'd allow them to process as much of it as they can comprehend while giving them love, understanding and support. I pray God's Hand upon you to give you the Wisdom and discernment you need to do what's best for your family. Our hearts are with you... Pat
 
Andrew

We were in the same spot as you a year ago. I took Thomas to the vet (Brian Story) and he was there when Cassie was put down. Thomas saw Cassie gently slip away, no pain, no struggle. She eased into eternal sleep while we pet her. There was a sense of closure knowing the pain was gone. If I had a child that wanted to be there I would definitely take them. It wasn't traumatic, it was cathartic. I think the sense of loss would have been greater had he not been there.

Whatever you decide you have my deepest sympathy and I wish the best for you and your family.

Eric
 
Andrew, As all have said it is one of the hardest things that you ever have to do but is part of being a responsable dog owner. Having been through it 4 times already it really is a moment that makes you realize how we all are just passing through. I think you should be extremly proud of your son for facing up to the inevatable. The Rainbow bridge is getting crowded with good dogs waiting for us. If you haven't read it Google "Rainbow Bridge" , it really says it all. Good luck and we are all sorry for your loss. You are in good company here.
 
I am not sure that I can add anything further but feel that if you son is mature enough to ask and he is mature enough to be there. He needs closure too.

Maybe afterwards you two can spend the afternoon on a walk or on a dock and talk about your life with Brooks. Funny times. Some not-so-funny times. Maybe that will help ease the pain afterwards. Then onward for pizza and ice cream. It sucks man...sorry for your loss
 
I’m very sorry to hear about your dog Andrew. It's a tough time and I wish you and your family the best.

We went through that about 5 years ago, lost two dogs within two years. Our boys were a little younger at the time and they didn’t ask to go, so we did not bring them. However if I had a son who wanted to go along to the vet’s office and I thought that he was mature enough to handle it, then I would bring him.
 
Andrew
If it's done properly, I would have your son watch. We all remember that dog looking at us with that puzzeled look.
wis boz
 
Andrew you and your family have my deepest sympathy. This is a tough thing. I had to have my Chessie of many years put down a couple of years ago -it still saddens me. The vet traveled 40 minutes to our house to do it - great vet I miss them. My children were very young and my attachment to her was much stronger than thiers, so they said goodbye to her and then left. It was very quick and painless - afterwards I cried like a baby. They returned home and had a nother chance to see her and ask questions and say goodbye. The next day I drove 12 hours and buried her on our farm where we now live.

If my children would have been older and had a stronger attachment to the dog, I would have let them stay. In my humble opinion you should allow your son the honor of being there. I think he is old enough and he has asked to be there. If he is not you both my regret it, and regret is not a good thing. We did not allow our daughter, 3 at the time, to see her grandpa as he lay in the hospital dying - we now regret that decision.

Good Luck Fellow Waterfowler!
 
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