My latest trip to Walmart,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Huntindave McCann

Huntindave McCann

Well-known member
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Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Jack, the 'wonder dog', at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse to this stupid question, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I told her I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's behind and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!
 
Dave, Who are these people that open their mouths before they think????????? Do you call your Jack Wonder for the same reason I called mine Wonder Jack????? I would "wonder where Jack went now". Thanks for the smile, Good Luck.
 
.....from the movie "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" I have to ask.....were you banned from just the one Wal-Mart or the whole chain?

Arf-arf-arf!

Dave
 
Too funny.Years back my wife used to make home made dog bisquets, fit for human consumption and had a bone shaped mold she cut them with.When she was in a grocery store with our 3yr old grandaughter she would give her one and wait for the reaction from the crowd.
 
He'll be here all week ladies and gentlemen.......Up next on the DHBP comedy website comes are lovely Dani to discuss little people!


LOL......Knowing you I believe this story 100%....I just wish I'd been in that line.

Take care,

Ed L.
 
Great one.
It reminds me of the time I was taking my duckboat out of the water the ramp was located in a well to do neighborhood. Every once in a while I would have someone tell my that I should not shoot the poor ducks.
This old lady dressed like old money comes up to me and asks what am I doing out in the bay, it's so cold ect.
Now at the time I am putting the shotgun in the car there are decoys and ducks in the boat. I tell her I am a wild life photographer. She believes me. Then she asked about the gun. I told her, for protection, the neighborhood is changing and I don't go anywhere without my gun.
She aggrees with me that the neighborhood is changing and opens up her purse and tells me I should get one of these as she shows me a pistol.
 
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