Once upon a time....before the internet.....

Tod. Will that authentic kayak be able to plane in a 6 foot speeds and easily reach 40 mph? If not, park your dream now.
 
The Great Salt Lake needs a few seals.....they would have to learn to eat shore birds, waterfowl, and brine shrimp....Maybe Tod can ship a few out and they can be introduced.....they will become an invasive species thus, I can make my seal skinned kayak and go hunt some rare beastie.....
 
Scientific permit to take several Belugas from the Cook Inlet population that is soon to be listed as "endangered"....maybe you could get them to let you 'heave the lance" on that "kill em to see if there are enough of them to kill" scientific sampling expedition.......

You'll need to bludgeon a seal so you can make a float out of his skin if you want to be really traditional.....the pups make the best ones cause with that white fur you can use it for a pillow after the hunt....



Steve
Click to expand...


Like I said, a Beluga would be down on my list quite a bit from the Narwhal. I just wanted to make sure that you were paying attention... Anyway, back to my story... I remember as a kid, probably 8 or so at the Natural History Museum and seeing an explosive-tipped harpoon and the horror I felt about its cruelty. That horror turned to curiosity over the years as I've read about whaling. I can joke about killing a Narwhal because it could never come to be given the criteria I have for killing.

Either way, I can just imagine, the weight of a harpoon or lance in the hand, the water, the power of one of those big fishes, the terror once the harpoon is fast. Quite a combination.

T
 
I just read on MadWhale that the current counts are overstated, and that in the 50's whale hunting was much better because people did it right, with respect and restraint. But, people with their own whale habitat, who now enforce self-imposed limits, are reporting that things still suck. You can't stockpile whales, apparently.

On the commercial front, word is that one pro-staff infused company is on the verge of releasing a new line of fully-flocked whale decoys. No details on the trailer size needed for transport, however paint issues have been reported leading many to contact (ahem) Lady X for appropriate storage bags. She is MIA, of course, and half the current threads on the Whale Hunting Forum are a variant of "has anyone seen Lady X?" with a disturbing number of replies including the infamous pierced cootchie pics from years past. No roast beef for me Mom, thanks anyway.

Thank god (for Tungsten Matrix) that here on the DHBP things are starting to settle. Many whale-related projects are underway, with one moderator placing a standing order to buy everything from everyone before anyone else gets a crack at it (rumor is he made a fortune in the 90's by copyrighting the phrase "BWAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHHAA" and all derivations). Some new guy is taking heat for starting threads about Baby Trapping, Making Eurasian Widgeon Jerky, and Home Euthanasia of the Elderly, where legal (Nuke the elderly!, says I). Another clever member has consulted English maritime law and has gained begrudging permission to hunt whales inside most major aquariums and water parks in the upper midwest.

Me, I just hope we all can get along... and that we can continue to enjoy our passion legally, even barely legally, and that when our dog's start talking to us we have the good sense to do the wise thing - turn it into a photo essay and post it on the internet.


Ed
 
Ed - thank you for that, I cant imagine a better member of the STARFISH loving cult being able to sum it up any better. One question though? Will the whale decoys be yellow or straw colored. Bhahahahahahahaa (word used with with written permission and royalty paid to the Sutton sodomizing Starfish Association.
 
Ed I will have to admit that is one of the funniest posts I have had the pleasure of reading so far in 10'. Thanks

Tom
 
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