Boats, Guns, Decoys and Spouses

A strategy that works for me is to acquire so much gear it is easy to hide new equipment in it. I have been collecting scuba, hunting and fishing equipment for 50 years. I am way past the point of laundering new stuff. I just toss it in with the old and even I can hardly tell. But this method takes many years to develop and it should be undertaken very carefully at first lest you get caught.
I also find it extremely helpful to refer to each piece of equipment by names that convey a vital purpose . A camo float coat I bought recently was "Coast Guard mandated safety apparel". Any dive gear is referred to as "life support equipment." You get the idea.
 
I know i should really just post to the classifieds however this thread really seems like the place to discuss the next move....If anyone knows anyone that might need a Chuck Huff....I think I might get going on the move for the next boat...vewy vewy quietly. I think I could make my bride happy though if I can gain one boat that takes the place of two....That is definitely down sizing....Right?
 
first... I don't even understand #5.... I start getting the cold shoulder if I am not coming home with enough!!! The first part of this season was a little rough!


Beyond that.. I think some of you might have chosen poorly. I have taken the approach of Better to ask forgiveness than Permission... and I have not had to do that.... so.....

I also thing it is wise to get them young and train them right!
 
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What an outstanding read! Of course I don't have that challenge to overcome, so I just buy what I want/can afford.
 
Lol....been following your list all my married life. I even put it to use last week. Knowing I agreed to drive the spouse to a business meeting in Minneapolis I checked the local Fleet Farm for an item I purchased a few years ago that I knew was no longer available. To my delight they had one piece of what I was looking for and at a savings of 65 percent off. Stash money was used and the wife had no problem when I explained my fabulous find. Planning is key.
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Ed, the reason you were able to share that and be validated by your wife is that it fits they buying logic of, "Look how much I saved!"..... I call it "Shoe Logic" at my house.

Whether a pari of shoes is needed or not, the purchase is not looked at as an expense, it's a savings! So, you did not spend $45, you SAVED $65.

A useful tactic, but it requires a caution: it will encourage her spending as well since success begets success, what's good for the Gander is good for the Goose, etc.

P.s. Love Fleet Farm. Amazing what can find it's way onto a charge for Oil Change or Tires while I wait for the service to get completed since I can ring everything up at the service counter!
 
A couple quick notes:

1) It's always a great day when a shared experience means something to others, particularly folks i've never met. Glad I've added value.

2) Writing as a career is something akin to being a pro-fisherman: I've caught a lot of big fish in my life, but the ability to be successful day in, day out, rain/shine, is what separates the "good" from the "pro". With luck you may see some writings I've submitted pop-up, but these things work for me based on a specific set of circumstances. I don't know, I might be a good writer, but I'd never considered my self skilled and I'm far from gifted. The Pat McManus, Gordon MacQuarrie types have an innate grace and craft that is only ever aspirational to me. I'm just pulling at threads on their coat tails, but I sincerely appreciate the validation!

3) I love beer. In MN we think we invented craft brewing so if anyone comes up I can take you to places where they have large vats of beer and a lot of guys in flannel, work boots, and very shiny beards who's time outdoors consists of navigating the concrete jungle running from coffee house to brew pub without taking the skyway.
 
This list is near perfect...I have lived it. The cash is stowed away in the fly bench, and is gathered by never having any cash left over from bottle returns and trips to camp. As for boats--- that was easy. SHE got a new kitchen...counters, sinks...all that mess....when it was done-and she was in the afterglow of joy (and before she moved on to re-doing a bathroom) ...I got a boat. When she spoke about why I needed a new boat...I mentioned back that I liked the old sink.

New boat! Now, I am looking at a layout boat....which will come right after the new shower is put in.

Jeff- lots of places to hide boats in Vassalboro.

Hutch
 
Rob_F. I enjoyed your post with the many rules you recommend but I need some advice.

I have been following rule #1 this year. Putting away pocket change, left over lunch money, anything I could. The total stash had grown to $800 dollars which I had put in an envelope then placed inside the folds of the local newspaper. All of this was kept in the floor board of my truck. My truck is my office so it quickly accumulates trash. Last weekend I went hunting with my son and he drove. When I came home my beloved wife of 38 years surprised me with the gift of having cleaned my truck inside and out!

Stark terror had to be masked with a big smile and thank you hugs. I went on and on about what a great job she had done all the while eyeing the trash can. I waited till late that night when I took out the kitchen trash then went dumpster diving. Alas I found my newspaper with its precious contents. The envelope was soaked with left over sweet tea but I could not be happier!

So I ask our marital mentor to help me find a better place to hide my stash
 
Shoe logic? Have you spent time in NW PA with a woman I'm fond of? If she has a $10 off coupon she is buying something, need it/like it, doesn't matter, she is going to use the $10 off coupon.
These tactics certainly can be effective for the smaller things, but the dogs and boats are different. Big returns take big investments.

Dogs - I went with the business/income route with a little “shoe logic” thrown in. I had a male so if we added a female and let Mother Nature take her course we could sell the puppies. This worked for dog #2. Dog #3 came about while searching the internet one night looking for dog training stuff in the classifieds. The website also had litters listed, so of course I had to "just take a look". Considering the pedigree, I felt the puppies should have been sold for $300-$600 more than they were listed. I mentioned it to my better half, who may have been partially asleep but remembers the conservation so it counts, and she said "Well Luke is getting kind of old, maybe we should get another male". Now understand, I do pay a price each and every day for having three dogs, but some things are worth it.

Boat - Let me describe a plan that I have set into motion. I understand this is not for everyone due to it taking the cooperation of others and it's going to take some time.

A little over a year ago our first grandson came into this world. Due to a lot of circumstances, he lives with us and we are the primary care givers. As the only father figure in his life I have taken it upon myself to educate him in the ways of "normal" men, i.e. everything revolves around ducks and all things duck related. Now I'm not a big TV watcher and certainly don't like most hunting shows, but there are a couple that I will watch. So when the little tike crawls up on my lap, I put on a duck hunting show and we discuss the birds. It didn't take long to teach him to say "quack" every time they showed a flock of birds. Now grandma just thinks this is the cutest thing. I knew I was making progress the day he was too busy playing to sit on my lap, but I turned on the show anyway. He immediately crawled over beside my chair, plopped his but down, pointed at the ducks and quacked. Planting the seed for the boat occurred at Tuckerton this fall. As we going past the Duck Boss boats, Tom hadn't let me down and had the dog statue on the front of the duckboss 15. Of course that caught the little guy’s eye so we had to go take a look. Now this couldn't have worked better if I had called Tom in advance. He had a chair sitting in the boat. See my opportunity, I hefted the boy up and sat him in the chair. This had the desired effect, grandma pulled out her phone and started taking pictures of the cute little guy in the duck boat. In a voice just loud enough for my wife to hear I said, "Tell grandma, Papa needs a new duck boat to take me hunting". Now there is still a lot of work to be done but the wheels have been set in motion and so far the little guy is holding up his end. The other day we were walking across the parking lot into church and a flock of geese were flying over. Of course you all know at that moment I was running into the mirror of someone’s car because I was watching the birds. My little partner looks up, points and starts to quack. My wife just shook her head. If all goes well, by the time he is old enough to tag along I’ll have a nice new boat in the garage.
 
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P.s. Love Fleet Farm. Amazing what can find it's way onto a charge for Oil Change or Tires while I wait for the service to get completed since I can ring everything up at the service counter!
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Rob_F,
My wife has used the "Look how much I saved" logic for as long as I've known her. It doesn't take a business degree from Yale to see how it works. Not that I always by it when she comes home but it never hurts to go along and when needed use her logic. She has another business trip coming up in February. I may need an oil change and at least wipers and a tire rotation while I'm in town......oh yeah and some new goose decoys. Hope they're on sale!
 
All this advise, comedy & true, chicanery, and conniving, very entertaining indeed for one and all.

Then when we keel over, if not set down in detail. All the stuff we so yearned for, gets sold to "friends" and strangers for a pittance of what we paid for it.

So if yer married, Man Up, at the jump, or be willing to let it go cheap.

He who dies with the most toys, does not win. Unless he takes a really good & true inventory prior.

Something I have yet to do...
 
Bruce,

I came late in life to a concept posited in Charles Dickens' Great Expectations... "portable property".

The idea: cash and cash conversion has an immediate value that can be realized. Unlike a boat or real estate that has a longer "sell time", portable property can quickly be turned around if it is cash or actively traded commodity.

I too, am self employed and tend to office from my car and am well aware of a spouse not familiar with our traditional organizational strategies.

Envelopes are a risk for several reasons, one you highlighted, but the GREATEST risk is they invite an inquisitive mind to actually LOOK inside them, i.e.: "hmmm, is what's in this envelope important?"

For your mobile stash containment, which is portable portable property, I'd recommend the familiar and never touched by a spouse (mine at least) Owner's Manual in the glove box. Likely also safe from any would-be thieves, children, or curious squatters in the passenger seat.
 
first... I don't even understand #5.... I start getting the cold shoulder if I am not coming home with enough!!! The first part of this season was a little rough!


Beyond that.. I think some of you might have chosen poorly. I have taken the approach of Better to ask forgiveness than Permission... and I have not had to do that.... so.....

I also thing it is wise to get them young and train them right!
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Phil, and by association Chris and Todd,

I don't disagree, but like Google Maps, there are always alternate routes to a destination. I can't speak for others, but it took me the first half of this life to determine "self direction". I'm always jealous of others that know exactly what they want, when they want it, how they want, and never question their decision. It is a clarity I strive for but only ever get to touch it's Golden Threads.

For me, life was more like what you describe before I had kids and the slippery slope of compromise.

Forgiveness vs Permission I use regularly but is reserved for the things that she thinks should be mutual decisions, like cars/trucks. Due to some economic constraints with my road travel (approx. 45k miles), I elected to drop the Yukon XL in favor of a mid-size sedan..... working back into the Yukon XL is going to take a bit of work since the fuel cost is double; however, this will be done, hell or high water, and she'll come around. The same also happens with paint, whatever.

In no way do i feel I made a bad choice, she's been The One for 21 years. But as a younger man I lacked the foresight of what my future might become being married to a *spirited*, but way hotty-pa-totty....

.... so, like a good entrepreneur, I've developed some work arounds ;-)

There is no irreconcilable differences here, just different theories on means to an end.
 
I don't know guys.

I think you need to get more advanced in your training, Nikki is begging me to get another boat, and now after seaducking out of a bankes boat its hard not to run out and buy one.

It's kind of like inception, you need to make them think they came up with the idea. Lol
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Of course, the flip side of this might be she's having coffee this morning with a friend saying, ".... he doesn't know a pump from a wedge, if I leave shoes in the closet long enough he doesn't know if their new or not..... oh, it's so cute, when I go school shopping for the kids a necklace just "falls" into the cart..... I don't know, as long as he has his boat and duckies to play with he seems happy.... "

:)
 
Boats and Dogs:

Definitely tricky, this involves love and romance, potentially with an inanimate object that we call "she"....

With dogs, I'd recommend either a) a heavy hand on the Forgiveness/Permission strategy laid out by Phil; or b) your hidden expense game is likely approaching the GDP of small island nations with boarding and training fees.

With boats, the challenge is maintaining desire to current predicament. If you are getting the boat you've dreamed about, you won't want it stored in a hideout behind a friend's shed, you want it close and touchable. Perhaps, the best way to work it, would be to "sell" or "trade" your non-dream boat to a friend or trusted relative and put the dream boat in it's place at home. I "donated" an old boat to a friend's hunting camp to make room for a newer, younger model, in my garage.

Right now the Opus I'm working on is a Bronco II. It is strictly an object of desire and a nostalgic purpose. It has no value to the family or our daily lives and even the thought is a bit askew..... but men and their toys, particularly the remembrance of youth.....
 
The only shoes she buys are running shoes, she runs 30 miles a week so she goes through them quite often. She has 2 nice pairs of frye boots that are almost as expensive as the PAC boots or waders I bought her.

She might be Polish but she buys food like any old Italian lady I know. She hides canned goods like most wives hide those fancy shoes you speak of.

I showed her the Bob M post in the classifieds of the bankes freedom package she said to buy it.

But I want to buy a house next year so no boat this year.
 
Oh, and has anyone figured out how to suddenly get another dog in the house without raising any ire?

Yes, marry a veterinary technician! Of course you may end-up owning a horse or two as well...!
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I showed her the Bob M post in the classifieds of the bankes freedom package she said to buy it. But I want to buy a house next year so no boat this year.
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I know you're being responsible, but damn! You really did find a great one.
 
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