Something to help us understand Diana

Lee Harker

Lee Harker

Well-known member
My sister sent this to me and I thought it would help all us slugs of the male gender..you are excused Paul....


Words Women Use:

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when
they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half
an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just
been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping
around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means
something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin
with Nothing usually end in Fine. (Refer back to #1 for the
meaning of Fine.)

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she
thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her
time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer
back to #3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements
a women can make to a man. That's o kay means she wants to
think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay
for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you -- do not question, or faint.
Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous
statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a
man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will
later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's
response to be Nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of
Nothing.)
 
I wouldn't be surprised if our Lady Di has her very own language and appropriate meanings that wouldn't be nearly as mundane as the rest of the female world.
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

you better come up with a better 'dictionary' to try and help you guys understand Diana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1) it needs to be longer 2) there needs to be several different definitions for the same word/phrase/expression 3) and if you think you have it right with her (and unless you can read her strangely convoluted mind) you're probably wrong

keep in mind that:
a) she's a redhead...trouble
b) she's a scorpio...so strange and twisted in ways only other scorpios can be
c) she's the middle child, the oldest girl and the youngest boy of the family who could almost always outshoot her brothers (so of course no ego)
d) she's a TN hillbilly (extra special breed)
e) she's too smart for her own good and a sick sense of humour (and god help her professors now)

if y'all can figure all that out.......hell I'd stand up and applaud
 
Lee, why do I get the feeling we're sitting at #3 right now? Ya know, like when the shadow of the giant wave comes across the bow of the Andrea Gail in "The Perfect Storm." Grab something and don't let go...
 
For those who understand the expression "bless his heart" note that it applies here.

LEE, YES DEAR, I AM SHOUTING. SINCE I KNOW YOU ARE NOT THE TYPE TO NOT LISTEN, I AM LEFT TO BELIEVE YOU MUST BE DEAF. I AM AFRAID YOUR SISTER'S WELL INTENTIONED LIST WILL NOT BE HELPFUL WITH REGARDS TO UNDERSTANDING ME. NOT ONLY AM I SPEAKING UP SO YOU CAN HEAR I AM GOING TO TALK SLOWLY FOR YOU.... AS HAS BEEN SAID BEFORE ON THIS SITE: I..............................WAS............................RAISED............................AS.......................ONE..........OF
..........THE......................BOYS. SO I GREW UP BEING STRAIGHTFORWARD......NOT TO PUT YOU ON THE SPOT HITCH......BUT HITCH IS FAMILIAR WITH MY VERY DIRECT MANNER. THERE IS NEVER ANY GUESSING AS TO WHAT IS ON MY MIND. IN FACT MY DATING LIFE HAS BEEN HAMPERED BECAUSE OF THE MENTAL TORTURE MEN HAVE BEEN PUT THROUGH BY WOMEN WHO ARE TOO DAG BLAMED STUPID TO SAY WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN. SO LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE:

LET'S TAKE THE PHRASE "NOT NOW HONEY I'M NOT IN THE MOOD."

TYPICAL WOMAN: WELL IF YOU HOLD ME FOR A WHILE AND MAKE ME FEEL LOVED I "MIGHT" CHANGE MY MIND

DIANA: IF YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM HAVING MY CUTICLE SCISSORS REMOVED FROM YOUR THROAT.

TYPICAL WOMAN TICKED OFF WITH HER MAN: GOES SILENT, FOR HOURS, TYPICAL MAN, STUPID ENOUGH TO ASK IN THE FIRST PLACE SAY'S "WHAT'S WRONG".....AND YES, THEN SHE SAYS "NOTHING"

DIANA; WASTES NO TIME CONFRONTING MAN IN HIS SPACE OR HERS AND SAYS :YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU PISSED ME OFF, THIS IS WHY, THIS IS HOW AND I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN."
DIANA: WHEN OFFENSE HAS BEEN REPEATED. HONEY I HAVE CALLED 911......YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY SUICIDAL.

TYPICAL WOMAN: HONEY CAN WE GO OUT TONIGHT? TYPICAL MAN: SURE WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?
TYPICAL WOMAN: I DON'T KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU DECIDE.

DIANA: I AM GOING OUT FOR PIZZA DO YOU WANT TO GO? THOUGHTS OF TYPICAL MAN BECAUSE OF TYPICAL WOMEN: I WONDER WHERE SHE REALLY WANTS TO GO?

DIANA: HONEY ARE YOU UP FOR A GOOD ROMP? TYPICAL MAN:



YOU SEE I AM VERY CLEAR, CONCISE AND STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR MISUNDERSTANDING THE WAY I SEE IT. OKAY FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE STILL WONDERING WHAT THE TYPICAL MAN SAID, YOU ARE THINKING TOO MUCH......THERE IS A TIME TO THINK AND A TIME TO ACT.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND TIME TOO PRECIOUS, CUT TO THE CHASE, SAY WHAT NEEDS SAYING AND GET ON WITH IT. DO WHAT NEEDS DOING AND ENJOY IT.

okay here is what you guys are used to. I walk in look at the lady across the desk. She seems upset. I tell her it seems like she has had a tough day. She goes off saying " I love Bob but he makes me mad some times. I had a bad day yesterday, got home, he said hello I told him I just wanted to be left alone and do you know what he did? He got a beer and went to the garage." Tells bells, made sense to me, but I asked "and the problem would be?" She says, "Well every man knows when a woman says she wants to be left alone she really means she wants to be held." I wanted to drop her in her tracks there. Hmmmmm okay, she said she loved Bob. Well if you love someone why would you play mind games? Why would you not trust him enough to be able to say to him "honey I need to be held". Are you so blessed insecure in your relationship that you think he would reject you on the spot and if he is the type that would what in bloody blazes would you be doing with him! I actually settled for asking her, "did it ever occur to you just to level with him?" She saw she did not have my sympathy or empathy and dropped it. What amazed me even more was that it is the next day about 2pm and her panties are still in a wad about something that she is at fault for to begin with, she has spent 21 hours of time that she will never get back because she wants her boyfriend to be a flippin mind reader and she can't be honest enough to clearly state her desires.

Okay I need a drink now! Alright!!!!!! Yes!!! I am procrastinating on my homework. This was much more fun.


LEE, BLESS YOUR HEART, IT WARMS MY SOUL THAT YOU WOULD CONSIDER TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ME. THIS IS INDEED A VIRGINAL MOMENT.
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

you better come up with a better 'dictionary' to try and help you guys understand Diana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1) it needs to be longer 2) there needs to be several different definitions for the same word/phrase/expression 3) and if you think you have it right with her (and unless you can read her strangely convoluted mind) you're probably wrong

keep in mind that:
a) she's a redhead...trouble
b) she's a scorpio...so strange and twisted in ways only other scorpios can be
c) she's the middle child, the oldest girl and the youngest boy of the family who could almost always outshoot her brothers (so of course no ego)
d) she's a TN hillbilly (extra special breed)
e) she's too smart for her own good and a sick sense of humour (and god help her professors now)

if y'all can figure all that out.......hell I'd stand up and applaud
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Thanks daughter mine for being direct and to the point, bless their hearts, they know not what they do.......I see you did not mention the voodoo dolls. Mores the pity........
 
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Diana, I'm a guy. Ya think I read the directions? ;^)
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No, that is why I pointed it out to you. I did not want the others to think you were admiting to being a girly man. ;-)
 
...is it safe to come out of the fallout shelter yet???????????
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GW, Do you remember Crusty from the movie "The Incredible Mr. Limpet"? If so......then keep your cup on. ;-)
 
No, that is why I pointed it out to you. I did not want the others to think you were admiting to being a girly man. ;-)
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Thank you for watching out for my interests, Goddess. I feel much manlier now. Think I'll go to Home Depot for a while.
 
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