Twas the night before Valentines....... Sorta D R

bballard

bballard

Well-known member
and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, sept me,... the old louse. No stockings where hung and the chimney was bare, cuz she hates it when I toss my laundry up there.

A Plan had been laid, I'd cover all bases! There was flowers and candies and cards in right places. There's a luncheon for her, and some her pals with sirloins and shrimps, and nothing low cals.

The server's have towels and fresh wash ed faces, a fondue comes after with liquor that chases.

All inhibitions away, their gone like the breeze, and that's when I'll spring it from down on my Knees.

" You know what my darling, my sweetie my love"? "I think you were sent from Heaven above". "To keep me straight and our family a float". "My God, it would be grand if we had a new duck boat".

One with camo,and spot lights and big blind so keen, that all other hunter would think their wives mean. They would grumble and grovel and say "Oh what a gal, that Mrs, Ballard she's a keeper, she's the fat man's best pal.

We would cruise in the summer, and stalk in the fall, and it would'nt cost very much money at all. With easy installments, and payment plans to, did I mention just how much I really love you?

I know this plan is a winner, how could it ever go wrong, cuz I'm resiting it to her with hearts on my nipples, and in a camoflage thong.

Don't worry fellas once the vommity taste leaves your mouth, you might be able to laugh at this one, I wish you all luck with your endeavors tomorrow.

B
PS HELL NO there won't be any pictures of the event available
 
You are way too funny. Too cool! Let me know if that sorta stuff really works. ;0 If you don't make it to Westlake, we'll presume you're dead.
Lou

ps, now I've got this picture in my mind of you in a thong. It's just .......... wrong!
 
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I think you missed your calling, you should should be writing for Hallmark. Do have any more talents you want to tell us about, on second thought never mind that thong thing kind of scared me. Now you will be known as bballard aka Wordsmith.
 
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I know this plan is a winner, how could it ever go wrong, cuz I'm resiting it to her with hearts on my nipples, and in a camoflage thong.
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Brian,

I was right with ya man,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, all except that last line, and you can bet your sweet behind that we DO NOT WANT any pictures of this event!!!!!!
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Great poetry but I'm sure saying it aloud was like when southern soldiers had to "swallow the dog".

Hope you get your boat, and name it "Humble Pie".

Thanks,
Harry
 
BBallard ,


That Makes me SICK!!!! my wife looked at that and wonders why she only got a box of candy and a few roses ! Now i am screwed . Just kidding , give Hallmark a call they may be able to use that for next yers cards .





Dave M
 
Very good Brian, you're a poet, but you're spending far too much thought on this...get it over with or there won't be time for the black eye to heal before Westlake and then their WILL be pictures, I guarantee it!!

Hitch
 
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